Transferable Skills

It was a struggle to lift it
onto the dining room table. I
could hardly believe it was called
an OLIVER typewriter: something be
tween a printing press and a mech
anical piano.

When the exercises got a bit
boring I learned to type "Once
upon a time" and "In the beginning
there were" thinking they may be
useful in the future.

So when Michelle threw the big office
typewriter in my direction I managed
to sort of catch it and shuffle it onto
a desk. She seemed even more angered by
that and shouted "I hate this fucking
place" - well the children's home
did have to get her up early and there
was a meeting with her alcoholic
mother that day. I shouted back "Well
tough luck because we fucking like you".

As I shouted it - but not as loud as
she had - it sounded a bit contrived to
me, but she gave me an odd look and
calmed down quite a bit.

Valerie

Even when away from her school
Valerie looked immaculate
pleated navy skirt, light blue shirt
different tops but always matching
just like her smile and trainers

she never stopped smiling and her
feet twitched in those trainers

I worked with the older boys upstairs
and Valerie was there
in the middle of a game of tabletennis
there was a bang from the back windows
Valerie was outside standing on the window
ledge with the sash shut and those
trainers were dancing about

I gave a cheery wave now and then
after what seemed a very long time
Valerie rejoined us
I asked Tony to put some stronger
blocks on the sash windows

when we had our little parents day
Valerie came with her dad
he was smaller than her and a
bit tired and old looking and
you could see that she loved her dad
and she was smiling, a little more quietly,
and her feet were still twitching, quietly.

Hairs On The Back Of The Neck

David arrived for his first day
when I was out

His head leant on his arm writing
One of the others had given him a form
to fill in - something safe - and he
did look vulnerable with his head down
fair skinned sort of Black mixed-race

The little school was quiet and I was
relaxed, glad to be back, confident
Hello you must be David
He lifted his head looked at me and
said Fuck Off
Unusual but no big deal and I gave
a little shrug and walked on like
no matter

The strange thing was when he looked
up at me the hair on the back of my
neck stood up
I had read the cliche of course
it's never happened since

When he stabbed a little asian man
to death in front of his even more little
wife
"to see if he would bleed"
a newspaper said how after he was
sentenced to twenty-eight years
he shouted to the judge to
Fuck Off

So I was right not to take it
personally
but the hairs on the back of the neck
bit still makes me wonder

Amen

I don't claim credit for this
My brother or sister passed it on
It doesn't have the class of
The Assyrian coming down like the wolf on the fold
But you could see it
In front of you
And there is a whiff of irreverence
To go with the bacon and cabbage


Amen means
So be it
A half a loaf
A thrupenny bit
Four men
Six feet
Walking down
O'Connell Street
Shouting out
Pigs bum
Four-and-six-a-pound

Rooms - 1

the 8 bus and curiosity
suggested looking at rooms off
Kilburn High Road where pigeons
strutted puffed up on dried puke

three grey beds and a cooker
pure white fat in the frying pan
brown cloths pinned on the windows
a stack of suitcases some scattered
clothes and plastered boots
on top of the fish eye tv
a curling diploma for 3rd place in Latin
American Dancing, Thomastown, Kilkenny

and the grey tea-brown poem that ends with
"There is a land that is fairer than this."

A Lesson Learned

Sean McDermot Steet was like a bomb site
North Strand Tech was on crutches but
both on one side
                        to
                        stop
                        it
                        falling
                        over

Pedro was the smallest in the class he had
a yellow top 'n could talk like Donald Duck
n' he talked a lot like Donald Duck

later as they all were sort of writing I
happened to come up behind him in mid-quack
'n gave his head a little twack with
Lamb's Tales From Shakespeare
he jumped out of his seat
across the room
and head first out of the open window

what floor is this?
but when I looked down he was sitting
just a few feet
below
on
the gravel looking at me and shaking
his head but he did stop quacking so we
both learned something

Great Expectations

Sam Levinson had precancerous skin,
horn rimmed specs, check sports jacket,
grey flannel trousers,polished shoes
and a very South African accent.
A good salary was necessary [with a
South African accent] to make
it worth his while teaching and his
wife wanted to live in St. John's Wood.

Derek, the pupil, had dark brown black skin,
navy school blazer, grey flannel trousers,
good eyesight and a very West Indian accent.
He was determined to study hard so that
he could get a good job.

In between games of tabletennis,
Derek was doing his homework. He had
to write a description of an accident.
He grinned and said it was easy - he had
seen two cars crash into each other
that very same lunchtime.

Even from afar, I could see his writing
was a bit scrunched up. So as casually
as I could, I told him:
If you want to get a good mark,
keep your sentences short;
use full stops and capital letters;
start a new line when someone talks;
and put in lots of detail, like the names
of the roads and makes of cars.

Derek went off with a big smile.
He carefully tore the page out.
He started again.
This time he sat down.

On Thurday, I asked Derek how he
had got on with his English homework.
He said Mr Levinson took a look,
ran his finger over his earlier marks,
said Derek had got someone else to
do his work - so he was giving Derek
zero marks [with a South African accent].

What's the difference between Thatcher and Blair?

Thatcher - sold off the 'family silver'and went to war;
Blair - raw ot tnew dna 'revlis ylimaf' eht ffo dlos

[I refute that completely and utterly. PFI ensures essential longterm investment in high quality public services for this country. As for war, at no point did the United States of America have any interest whatsoever in the Falkland Islands - T.]

Back In Time

The dashboard navigator said nothing
About red poppies by the A41
Headed west for Wales and Holyhead
And the sterile smoke 'n puke free ferry
Shudders on a radioactive sea

A tubby black guy selling newspapers
Bottle of water dangling from his belt
Jinge jangle on the Royal Canal bank
aged four I dropped a purse with ten coppers down the toilet
My sister fished it out with the black fire tongs
Now she is pleased with her new laptop
New houses sprout by the hundreds where once
Wheat and potatoes grew and so did I

Lace curtained celtic tigered microsoft
Mist shrouds the silted up fishing harbour
Though the sun sets still behind the mountains
Really only hills around the flat bogs
And networks of stone walls flung right across
To cappuccino’d Galway and the Aran Islands
The man with a bike a bull two cows and a calf
Walking along the road the judge said if
He did it again he'd be thrown in jail
And wasn't that Earl Mountbatten bombing
Dreadful and he flying the union jack
And the yellow house with the wild flower grass
Was as far as the broadband went this time

My brothersisternephew six foot five
Tore into Israel after the steak why
Did the USA do that sort of thing
I chipped in Barenboim's young orchestra
Sewage from the Israeli settlement
Flows down the Palestinian children
Play in it well they have to go somewhere
A hurried cup of tea 'n see you soon
The woman in the black top files her nails
Anglesey swells over the bow windows again

School Playground

See: Make the top exams more difficult.
Saw: Only the brightest pupils would pass.
See: Raising standards.
Saw: Fewer going to university
See: More failing schools.
Saw: Lowering standards.
Margery: Daw!

iGod

A blinding flash struck me this afternoon
On the road back from Dalston
In the form of a spoof on an ‘iGod’
- solo use or networking
- downloadable add-ons
- multi faith
- skinnable [I liked that bit]
Lots of possibilities
Yes, something to work on
But when I got home I searched on Google
And it’s been done before...
Sold like hot cakes in Scotland and of course
God old U.S.A. was up for a few thousand
Is nothing sacred these days?
Maybe – try searching for ‘Goddle’?

Soul

Walked into London today
Thinking about ‘soul’
Music or religion
Religion, religion and religion
Joined at the base, so to speak

Turned into Chancery Lane
Little old lady exiting sprightly backwards
From a friendly fresh sandwich shop
She was laughing
Really laughing
There was soul there

Lincolns Inn Fields tennis courts
Were deserted
There were yellow vested men
Sitting sipping their drinks
A fearful grey lady
A blue suited man
But soul there

Deliciously expensive patisserie
Elderly leathered motorbike rider
Well displayed bookshop
Empty public toilet – in this day and age
Male and Female ends
Red quarry tiles
An exiting parking attendant, large, black
Grateful to pee, in peace with the world

Thirty years ago a nice sunny day
An old colleague invited me
To see his collection of First Editions
So I did
And they were
Shelved in a large basement
Air-conditioned
A little on the chilly side for reading
His wife produced
Spaghetti with a meat and tomato sauce
Followed by Compton Street coffee
All carefully filtered
Lovely apart from the basement of books
Which had their souls sucked out

Like Wapping High Street
Where the soul has gone
For now

Education Edukation Educkashon

testing
the air pressure
does not pump up the tyres

sorry about the sarcasm

oh come on now europe
get your fingers out
poor israel 'n u.s.a have done the hard work
billions of dollars worth of bomb damage in lebanon
all you have to do is build it up again

'n you need to send more troops to lebanon
they may get shot 'n bombed by israel
but it won't be premeditated you understand
so come on this is really urgent

Let's Start

Let’s start a world revostruction
White teeth not gold
Water not sold
Bling in the bin by the door

Lets start a world consolution
Truth not lies
Condoms not death
Life worth living for free

How about mass distribulution
Wind-up politics
United nations
Free range bananas and bread

Confine weapons of distruction
Bring back teaching
Poetry not grunge
Music not wailing greed

Bring out the dinner men
Rectify correctness
And the filthy rich
Can wash up as well

Food Diplomacy

i well remember school lunch that day
rice, mashed potato and cauliflower cheese
but for afters we played tabletennis
and joe said i must come round that evening
meet valerie and have a beer 'n dat sort a ting

back on the northern line - dalston junction
up the flight of concrete steps
swishing red buses 'n cars
anticipating beers, decided to line my tummy

with time to spare a chinese place fed me
special pork chow mein and chicken fried rice

joe's dark basement flat was near the market
lights and gas fire were burning
little mervyn hid behind the settee grinding his teeth
reluctantly said good night and then bed

the huge fridge-freezer hummed in the corner
joe ate from a huge pyrex bowl and i being
a visitor ate from a large patterned plate

val made many trips to the kitchen spiced
baked chicken, pork, rice 'n peas; but when
the heaps of coo-coo appeared i had to tell
all to joe when val was out getting more

so every time val went in the kitchen
joe scooped food from my plate into his
so with those sorts of skills 'n generosity
little wonder he is a high commissioner
tho' his suit is tight 'n neck disappeared

orchid

square bright bathroom window
squat round glass bowl
spongey seaweedy brown moss
large dark green oval leaves
silver roots finger the air
sustain three pale lilac faces
carefully calculated angles
hanging from living gantries
sniffing and feeling our world

there somewhere

freedom is there somewhere
in between
tick and tock
talking and fighting
mad and sane
sans frontieres and nationalistic
fervour and serene
belief and blank
despair and life
hereafter and nothing
doing and thinking
black and pale
male and female
somewhere there is freedom

jazz cafe

blood-shot chef fumed tony slipped a
whole fish pie to emma on the door
bartenders polished brasswork
with rented snow white towels
paperless till system crashed
plastic buckets awaited coins ‘n notes
bespoke steel stools bared razor flanges
matching tables revealed rust spots
cellar toilets overflowed the floor
dynorods invoice provoked a blockage
the heavy duty ice machine dispensed
six cubes overnight no one believed
derek the whippet caretaker who had kids
all over the place finished the jack daniels

the recon convection oven went on
strike aided and abetted by the food
lift snapping a cable you could see
‘n smell the sticky mess in the shaft
the agent wanted paying before a
special shipment back to ireland
treble supreme of chicken lay in pans
out into next door’s yard with piles of
dirty cloths ‘n aprons the gathering
throng stretched down parkway

“we could do with a few flowers on the
tables” give me strength the air
conditioner has never ever worked

but when the place filled to a stand
still ‘n even the fire gangway right over
the drums was lined with three rows
holding lemonsegmentedstoppered sol
‘n becks ‘n shredded smoked chicken,
the lighting dimmed, abdullah
sat long robed back at the steinway,
firmly stroked the keys ‘n sounds
that seemed like african markets, sun
‘n rivers washed magic round my ears

GUANTANAMO AIRLINE

Body searches
No personal baggage
FIVE YEARS!

Latest Amnesty Numbers

Last Post

so
this
maymean
mabe
mayhem
god
is
a
motherfucker
well, you know,
in a manner of
speaking
praying
braying
crowing
crooning
blowing
andwithalongandlingeringblasttothealmighty
butwithfeeling
from here to eternity
[and they don't make movies like that anymore]
amen

Reply To An Alien

This was originally prompted by a post, Letter From An Alien, on poetry into the light

Dear Nonplussed,

I note from your letter that you are an alien. I presume this means you are from another planet.

For the last few years, we on Planet Earth have been going through a funny patch. We have an area which we call the United States of America. Although it is a great country with lots of terrific inhabitants, it is currently led by a number of men who have a lot of what we call money.

On Earth, the idea of money started off with an exchange of useful goods between people, especially surplus food: pigs, chickens, cows, vegetables and so on. Men were considered rich if they had more than they needed for themselves – they could pay poorer men, women and children to work for them by giving them excess food in return for their labour. It soon became apparant that excess meat and vegetables began to smell if they were not eaten in good time. So instead of the actual goods, people began to use coins made of rare metals as counters instead of the actual items being exchanged.

Some people became greedy and started to use the coins for bad purposes. They also looked for ways of taking coins from others. They guarded things which could be exchanged for coins – coal, oil, food, wood, clothes. They also looked for people who were not used to coins and would do lots of work for a small number of coins – or sometimes just for food. This continues up to this day.

The people with lots of coins to spare also use them to have other people clean their houses and streets. Sometimes they use the coins to pay people to just talk with them or copulate with them. Really sad people just like having more coins than anyone else for the sheer hell of it. They even print pieces of paper and call them coins so as to make out they have more money than they really have. This is why you have areas of Planet Earth which claim to be rich even though there are lots of people with not even enough coins to buy sufficient meat, bread or vegetables to eat.

People who live in the areas of Planet Earth which have fewer coins and not enough to eat often feel bad. Sometimes they just lie down and die, but some get very angry and want to fight. Sometimes they fight themselves. Sometimes they fight others – the people next door, people with a different coloured skin, or people who just behave differently from them. At times they get so angry they blow themselves up – and blow others up as well. There are times when we call these people soldiers though people who do not like them increasingly call them terrorists. When the terrorists or soldiers win we call them leaders or politicians. Some people do not like fighting, so they become leaders or politicians by using things called votes. A vote is bit like a token which a person allocates to someone else if they want him or her to be their leader.

For further information on money, there are a number of reputable sources including Guardian Money and the BBC’s Money Box programme. Reliable information on voting and the results of it is harder to come by as the sources of information are controlled by the people who have last been given the most votes. You should be aware there is no morning after pill for people who have used their vote incorrectly – it can take up to five years for a vote to wear off.

Holy Terror

Jimmy didn’t know what the other
Lads thought of him but there was
One thing he could do he was a
Crack shot with a slingshot

They even trusted him to shoot
Little pebbles on the roofs to shoo
Pet racing and tumbling pigeons
So that they would fly down at night

In his pocket Jimmy had a couple
Of glass marbles they went straighter
Than an pebble like when they were
Sitting on the grass near the sea front

“Bet you can’t hit the telegraph pole
From here” so Jimmy took out a marble
Allowed a bit for the breeze you could see
It swirl and curve and then “Thwack!” it hit

While his head felt giddy Declan came out
With “It would be harder to hit a moving car”
The other marble was out and Jimmy thought
Of Biggles he knew to shoot well ahead

Allow for the breeze and height and way
Way ahead you could see it swerve and
Curve as marble and glass met each other
“CRACK!” Jesus the man leapt out

“Oi!!YOU!!!” and they up and running in
Different directions Jimmy right through
Cregan's garden past the Church heaving
Lungs up Barrack Lane forehead on his bed

“God let me off this one I’ll be
Goodforever” with his blood pumping
In his ears no wonder his father said
He was a Holy Terror and just as well
Tanks didn’t rumble down their streets

waiting for godot

ot
do
what?

Forget It

Ipods ‘n new stuff like that
Have batteries which don’t
Suffer from a ‘memory effect’
When u charge them up they
Pick up from whatever point ‘n
Jus’ take it from there like not
Getting stuck in the past
If we can do this for batteries
Why not have a go with the
World’s more modern leaders?

The One About The Curate And The Boat

Tuesday’s fishing boats were due so
We set off for the harbour maybe a
Few free mackerel or whiting the Da called
Whiting the chicken of the sea

By the yacht club just a house really
Jimmy had his boat upended said he was
Giving it a good clean and varnish
So we looked at him working away

The new curate pale pink ears sticking out
Came up behind us little cough and a pause
A fine afternoon and yes we heard it again
Giving it a good clean and varnish

So Sunday next we had a long sermon
Giving it a good clean ‘n varnish god ‘n ballyhoo
As usual the new curate went on far too long
So I’d better stop.

An Eye For A Knife

When Joe at the desk in front
Finished paring his pencil in Science
He passed me my knife back blade first
See the scar on my left forefinger

Brother Malachy, short fat ‘n round
Took me up front by the blackboard
“Lift it up high – see it stops
Lower it below the heart – it starts”

We collected knives – usually penknives
Though Tom’s mother said a sheath knife was
Safer than a letter opener – if you fell
It could run you right through

It was harder to throw heavy penknives
But we played “splits” and there was a knack
There were single and double blades
And ones with all sorts of gadgets

Brother Cuthbert had a slim white knife
Sharp for taking geranium cuttings
He said the best make was by James Barber
Sheffield steel from Capel Street by the Liffey

William Brown wanted the one with
The blade for taking stones from a horse’s hoof
And Swallows and Amazons had clasp knives
Even Roger who was younger than me

And Damilola Taylor was stabbed
With a broken bottle ‘n thug boys
Maybe as well as taking stuff away
We need to give some things back to children

argos catalogue

the argos catalogue
bigger than ever
3000 extra lines
over 1700 pages
illustrated in full colour
between PDAs and pedal bins
no entry for peace

Fox News

Early this morning
Brer Fox invaded my garden
Stretched and scratched himself

And the lawn – poor dry scorched earth

Brer Fox thinks he owns the garden
Maybe it’s the pond
Assorted little frogs, toads
And slugs in the damp patches

My finger on the window trigger
Fox looked slyly half my way
Scattered with family left and right
Disappeared for the rest of the day

But whatever Brer Terrapin,
Brer Blair, Brer Bush, Brer God
Believe Brer Fox will be back tomorrow

Dead Rats In The Ice Box

Two dead rats neatly wrapped
In white cardboard boxes
The sort cream cakes come in

"Oh that's OK" smiled Sally
She was a 'counsellor' you understand
And grudging science teacher
In the little school for
'bad' children

One of the defrosted rats
Male
Made a lesson for the boys
Scalpel in the left hand
Tweezers in the right
Pinching tweaking
"This is the penis"
"These are the testicles"
Lifting twisting the dead tissue
With deft considered nips

"Can we see the she rat?"
"Maybe another day"
Another day never came
The rats were thrown away
Sally wasn't but left
And moved on to older men

Hoodie

Met a hoodie today
A real one not a designer
Conservative or New Labour one
He had two hoods, red blotched face
Spoke up looked me in the eye
Doesn’t like Art but
Likes Painting & Decorating
Mopeds and car mechanics
Long ago he cooked lasagne
Said his elderly looking father
And needs to improved his reading
Introduced them to his social
Worker none of us had met before
I shook his hand hoped to see him soon
His head swept swiftly briefly round
Like a submarine periscope
As he walked away and out

A Leader We Can Count On?

"At a Downing Street reception not long ago, a guest had the temerity to ask Tony Blair: "How do you sleep at night, knowing that you've been responsible for the deaths of 100,000 Iraqis?" The Prime Minister is said to have retorted: 'I think you'll find it's closer to 50,000'."

John Kampfner, Blood On His Hands, New Statesman, August 2006
Read it here.

Photo Shoot

OK OK

So far, we have done:

1. Naked Screaming Little Girl Running Down Road
2. Vietcong Having Bullet Fired Into Head
3. Father Carrying Dead Boy
4. Father Cradling Dead Girl
5. Assorted And Various Crying Adults
6. Adults Digging In Rubble
7. Pretty Dead Children In Wheelbarrow

Anyone out there any suggestion?
What do we need to hold people's attention
Maybe a little more shock and awe??
Is anyone following this?

There is a good one here
WORDS only

Love Or Hate Maths

For Hate read Minus
For Grateful read Less Than
For Respect read Equals
For Love read Unpredicatable

In Human Relativity
Mandela is equal to,
Or more than,
Einstein

If Mandela met Einstein
He would wear a shirt with
E=mc²
Is there a mathematical term for
Puts Present World Leaders To Shame?

None So Blind As Cannot Shut Up And Think

Dot Cotton Eastenders did it for me
Referring to headless chickens you see
Flapping squacking with little or no thought
Processing words without any meaning
Make it look like you are doing something
Be active not passive avoid being still
Yo – eat as you go – if you need chew bread
Keep on the move and look like you’re busy

Targets to meet and meet by the minute
Emails to write and spreadsheets to figure
Invest in people gross without interest
In anything but what’s straight ahead
To be sped at shouted at left for dead
Wham bam disunificationised world
Eats shoots and leaves trickle down from the trees

Taken On Trust

[I got round to reading Terry Waits' account of his time as hostage in Beirut 1987 - 1991. 1,763 days in captivity, mostly in solitude]

Church of England is a professional body
a bit like the British Medical Association
Terry refers to other Christian religions
which are different in style

World Service BBC worth supporting
Treasure pleasures like food, fresh air
Looking at the changing sky
Appreciate little changes in life
Cockroaches, Popes, Archbishops

References to God, Jung, Christ
Prayer and mediation
Look after your teeth

John McCarthy & Brian Keenan
Seem to have done well
Enjoyed An Evil Cradling

Blogging

When I was little
My mother bought
A pressure cooker

It took a long time to boil
When the valve at the top
Screamed with steam
Like a train in the kitchen
She knocked it off
With a slap

If she got it just right
It chugged along nicely
With just the occasional spurt
And the pot roast was just right

There were all sort of plans
For meals in one pan
But they fizzled out

I wonder
About blogging
'n poetry 'n all that

Three Simple Facts

The USA
Cannot control
Israel
But tries not to let on

Blair
And his ‘New Labour’
Suck up to
The filth rich
‘n the filthy powerful

Terrorism
is a vague ‘n clumsy term
One man’s terrorist
Is another man’s freedom fighter
For example
ANC in South Africa
Sterne Gang in Israel

Poetry Not Crosswords

I try to write poetry
But some days
I don't have a clue

More Diplomacy, Please

Those of us who like red wine
Could meet up with
Vodka-and-orange drinkers
Very nearly producing
A right old Bloody Mary

Guinnessed pint types
Rough it in Champagne
But end in a smooth finish

Irish [and Scotch!] Whiskey
Can get along with sobering coffee
No problem, almost instantly.

Can we have a go with
Bishops and pork chops
Women and avocado butter
Engines and sugar
West Indian Gin
And kicks just for fun?

All beefed up with
A sense of hummus?

Anyone else for tea?

Porno Site

Re: your suggestion for a porno site:
Lets go no further into that good night.
Wood Green had five stabbings last Friday:
Sharp blades punched through shirts, skin, flesh, and sinew.
Some of them must have laughed and felt warm blood,
Flowing and congealing on knife and hand.
Blood sticks, gets stickier, forms into clots.
Guns are easier.
The other night I was watching tv
Chopping some carrots but happened to see
Nice black teenager, track suit, roller blades,
Stop look and shoot lead into the heaving chest
Of someone who could have been a brother or friend.
So who needs porno sites, we have them now.